While standing in a pace
of worship in our assembly I was somehow still and in anticipation
of anything!
Suddenly, I saw
movement a head of me that forced my eyes to gaze upward.
When I did, I
saw a shoulder of a very large presence. Nearly 10 feet in height.
This shoulder
was not a "Buff" shoulder nor was it a weak shoulder.
On the right
shoulder their was fabric covering the shoulder of white linen, and, this
shoulder also carried a white satin sash.
I knew
instantly that an Angelic being had entered the room. They often show themselves
in part to allow one to see what their purpose is.
(Hebrews 1
: 14 Are not all angels ministering
spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation?)
I was keenly
aware of that presence when I knew in my heart after seeing that shoulder I was
about to face some thing.
I desperately wanted to shout and sing
and dance, still, I knew in my heart, I would soon need a shoulder... so I
waited..
Then it
came... A very different circumstance ...
One that many leaders face from time to time ...A loved one betrays
you.
Yes I was
betrayed and it hurt!
While going
through the pain of this suffering I was continuing to feel
the Presence week after week ...
As The Burden of Betrayal was beginning to
take its toll...
My emotions
were running wild. And ,my family was seeing me break
under the load...
I knew that the
only thing I had to hang
onto tangibly, was that glimpse in a
fragment of time of a shoulder large
enough to bear the burden of my own suffering.. I wept a lot
and, cried out to our Lord a lot
during that time.
Even though I was comforted by the vision I still felt the pain..... As I was
assured my burdens were being carried,I had come to realize
another important aspect of
the occurrence was taking place in my
life. ..
I was
in The partaking of His suffering..
1st Peter 4
; 13But rejoice inasmuch as you participate
in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is
revealed.
Jesus had been
betrayed. He had been falsely accused, all while He had been obedient to
his Father.
Could I even
live up to that?
Although this
is a true portrait. It was not comforting me .. I knew I was suffering, and I
was being betrayed...
I desperately wanted to feel "Spiritual" but in
all honesty I felt the burden of immense pain and rejection.
I was repenting consistently... Just incase,
and begging God to show me where I had failed.. I was assured
my actions were not as bad as I thought they were and, that did give me some
minor relief.. But no reconciliation to the issue had ever occurred..So I took the safest way out... I assumed
responsibility for my part , and moved on.
I wept for
months..( As a Pastor, we care so much when one leaves we all feel the pain... I
was hurting badly. A departure of loved ones had occurred from our assembly and
all of us were hurting.)
Finally
....I cried out to the Lord Jesus "Pray Lord! My Lord PRAY now I need
you!
As I
cried...Jesus they were supposed to be my friends my confidants my stand
ins...Why Lord? What can I do?"
Hebrews 7 :
25 Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him,
because he always lives to intercede for them.
The scripture took on life He prays for us, so I
did what we all do in crisis I
called on THEE intercessor for prayer.
I thought... If
He prayed for me... And I knew His
prayer would be answered could that solve the dilemma in my heart? I waited.
My only
task now was to allow Him to
intercede on my behalf to His Father and TRUST the
outcome..
I actually wondered
if my pain was so great I would not be able to trust and
allow..
After some time
had passed, and, during a quiet time in my garden . I realized I could endure
this. I could make it through I was a victor not a victim
!
This process
was not instant. It was not easy nor comforting..
It was real and raw
before God... I had to
allow Him to be Him....I was learning to do that.
When I
FINALLY realized this, I was able to look closer toward the shoulder that
had refined in our midst.. Yes i'd
see it from time to time in my memory...Till.... one
day..
I saw it strong and mighty... It was where it was all
the time!!..I called it Burden Bearer it seems to fit...
Burden Bearer was
placed in the sanctuary of our church. For all of us. Not just
me.
On
a Wednesday night stepped up to the platform to
minister... when... there he was again! This time I saw burdens being lifted off
many in the congregation by this presence!...Then I saw another
presence.
Another angelic helper this
one looked a soldier,who stood guard at the door dressed in ornate
armor... Another angel? This one looked like a guard
of a King... I looked all around the assembly and saw a conclave of
Angelic beings a surrounding us all! I knew then and there that He
had shouldered the process. He allowed me to cry on that shoulder and He was big enough to carry my burdens and
the burden of the entire church. That night Victory arose
in the house . Jesus's prayer was being answered.
I
was delighted to feel the freedom at
last!
Then He spoke to me. And this is my message to you as I desire to help you through
these times in life.
" All the
burden one
carries is light Theresa I have been
betrayed and ignored and accused... please remember this All the burden of what
I endured is light!
I prayed
for you that your faith not fail Luke 22 ;
32
Go
now strengthen your brothers.. I am
your burden carrier! Matt 11
:30
(Partaking in this suffering gave me revelation of His
suffering.. and I grew. We all can grow.)
He went on to
say "I Am THEE I AM... Fear Not. I AM IS WITH YOU!' Isa 41
:10
A simple message resulted in
this experience as I "fleshed it out" but it was real I learned something in
that season.
Although I
was betrayed I was changed .. I had come to the knowledge He really
is our VERY PRESENT HELP IN TIMES OF TROUBLE Psalms 46:1
I had realized
our sufferings were minimal and some
horrendous.. BUT they are ALL important to
Him.
I developed a
deeper understanding of people and how to respond.. And, when not
to.
O yes
the learning curve was upon me!
And now I pray
it for you.
Dear Lord in
these days of betrayal and circumstances beyond our control I ask you to send help! Be help and show
yourself in all things.
I know you are
for there for the reader and not against the reader.
I pray for
your face to be upon all who read this message and they are
made strong.
I
am vulnerable O Lord in myself so we all can be. I pray that the
testimony of this word will strengthen anyone who reads it.
I pray for
leaders everywhere to see you in all situations and
all things and be comforted.
In your mighty
name I ask for your continued prayers for hope in these troubled times.
Because you Jesus Reign supreme
Amen!
Dr Theresa
Phillips
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